I'm Loving It...

Moved to a new city & bumped into an acquaintance. After initial pleasantries being dutifully exchanged, was asked the patent “So where are you working now?”

And while my answer to the acquaintance was succinct, my mind started processing my current work profile in gleeful detail.

Hey I switched jobs - around 2 years back. Took a diversion from my career in the world of media & currently count myself among the lucky ones who hold one of the Best & Most Enjoyable jobs in the world. 

Oh yes, you read it right – one of the BEST & MOST ENJOYABLE JOBS IN THE WORLD.

Let me attempt a Resume for the current profile:

ACADEMIC QUALIFICATION: MBA

WORK EXPERIENCE: Media professional for 10 years;

                              Fresher in the new role

CURRENT EMPLOYER: Her Majesty, Ms A

DESIGNATION: Chief Strategy Officer – Home & Childcare

                   Also read as “SAHM” (I picked up this cool acronym online)

JOB DESCRIPTION:

The job requires me to undertake these roles on a regular basis::

• Woman Friday – Artfully handle the task of brushing teeth, toilet training, organizing toys, arranging cupboard, cleaning up the mess from feeding trials / toilet accidents and so on.

• Teacher – Guide my employer as to what is beneficial for her & enhance her developing skills.

• Sole strategist, F&B – Decide what would satiate my employer’s taste buds for the day. Have to ensure the output reaches the destination (little tummy) & patiently allow employer’s self-feeding attempts.

• Stylist – Choose her clothes for home & outing and coordinate headgear & footwear; Job includes reluctantly giving in to completely mismatched choices of the little fashionista.

• Playmate - Am allowed unlimited playtime any time of the day; Also granted the pleasure of seeing her discover the joys of bath tub, bath toys, sand, play dough, crayons and so on.

• Court Jester - Entertain her with story time, play dough, puzzles, songs & the list goes on.

• Celebrity Management & PR manager - Take her down to socialize with the building brethren & share her photos and videos with select people.

• Sleep Therapist – Am permitted the pure joy of putting my employer to sleep.

• Bodyguard – Am constantly on the lookout to keep my hyper employer away from harm’s way.

Well this job is no doubt little varied from the corporate profiles I have dealt with before.

PERKS:

• The job profile can never be truly defined & evolves on a regular basis. So no work fatigue sets in & the challenges make me feel like a ballerina (albeit a plumper version).

• Appraisal happens any minute of the day, the best reward being the cherubic smile / toothy bunny grin that I get – an immeasurable percentage increment. My employer does not believe in recession or cost-cutting – she is very generous with her appraisal.

• Am allowed to dance like a clown or croon like a soprano whenever I please – and it is not met by raised eyebrows; instead, by a toothy giggle.

• Am allowed to splash water over my employer in her bathtub & am not reprimanded.

• Have the pleasure of feeding her and seeing the sparkle in her eyes.

• Get the inexpressible joy of seeing her smiling in her sleep. I sometimes get the 1^st smile when she awakens. I have the satisfaction of at times being “wanted” during her sleep, when she looks out for my hands to hold.

• Get the adrenaline rush of pleasure when she calls out “Ma Ma” and stretches out her little arms towards me, wanting to be picked up.

INDIRECT BENEFITS::

• Free workouts - I don’t have to pay a hefty sum to join some lofty gym or yoga class. I get free workouts running after my employer or running around executing her errands. As I said earlier, I feel like a ballerina. Pushing Her Majesty’s cycle around is also a good “walk-out” for me. Dancing along with her is zumba at its enjoyable best.

• Diet control - I get to eat remnant semi-bland food – so my diet is somewhat under control.

• Language development - I get to hear the first words being spoken & get the privilege of being the chief interpreter of baby-language. So my language skills are surely improving.

• Multi-tasking techniques - Balancing kid on one hand while executing tasks with the other is good work out for the biceps, triceps and the likes. Also takes “multi-tasking” to a new level.

• Anger management skills - I get free lessons in patience.

DRAWBACKS: (usually not a part of any resume)

• Did I ever hear a word called “sleep” – Yes I do not get enough sleep. Hey wait, did I use the word sleep !! Let me rephrase… I do not get enough “light sleep”. Am alert at the slightest movement – cause the lady loves rolling all over the bed, right to the bottom, in her sleep. And then some nights she feels it’s her “bossy” right to wake up & want to play in the middle of the night. And yes her Employee #1 has to oblige, because Employee #2 needs his sleep to get back to his work tomorrow. But then somehow the joy of seeing her innocent smile & to hear her mirthful gurgling laugh makes the unscheduled wake-up time very very enjoyable.

• The “joys” of repeat telecast – Oh yes, I might have to watch the same rhyme video umpteen times at a go, just because my employer takes a sudden fancy to it. Has enhanced my knowledge of nursery rhymes & given a boost to my memory.

• Pin cushion – I have to deal with temper tantrums – but then that’s easily forgotten within seconds, well on the bad days this takes some minutes.

• Media alienation – Yes the words TV & Newspaper have got erased from my dictionary. But this live entertainment channel more than makes up for it. I got introduced to the cute colourful world of Peppa Pig, re-introduced to Mickey Minnie & Noddy, re-learnt Goldilocks, Thumbelina and other such classics.

• Unlearning the past - The concepts of a leisurely bath, curling up in bed with a mug of coffee & an exciting novel, pursuing my hobbies when I want to, just sitting around idling away my time – these all seem like things from the distant past. But I am getting to go through cute picture books, I have acquired new skills like holding kiddo in one hand & sipping on a teacup held in the other, while skilfully avoiding the cup being boxed by the baby. And yeah, am contributing towards saving water as showers are a quick 3 minutes affair.

P.S. - Let me replace the word "job" with "occupation".... for the little lady surely keeps me pleasantly occupied.